Sobre Mi

I like TV. I like theater, but possibly because of the recognition...investigation pending. I like music. I like writing, letters especially (chances are I have an unsent letter written to you on a page in my journal). I like talking to people about things that matter and things that bother them and about life questions and about points of view and about things that interest them. I like listening to people too. I like trying to look really put together on the outside because I'm a hot mess all over the place on the inside, especially lately. I like positions where I can make a difference or inform someone. I am strong. I am funny...hilarious sometimes. I love fun. I love new things. I want to learn to play baseball and volleyball and maybe basketball, but that's kind of a cop out. I want to play Wii tennis. I want to learn about other types of music. I love jazz. I want to go to a jazz bar and sit there for hours. I want to go to Amsterdam. I want to go to Italy. I want to be more open minded about things that I didn't know I was closed off to. I want to read new books. I want to meet people with lives completely separate from mine. I want to learn from other people's damages the way I hope others can learn from mine. I want to help people, especially those who don't think or know they need it. I want to make people happy. I want to remember the way I met everyone I meet from this day on. I want to take something from every day that I can treasure always, even if it's mundane. I want to take ownership of those things. I want to take ownership of my problems and my life again. I want to believe in things greater than myself. I want to love at least one person unconditionally forever. I want that person to be as opposite from me as possible; loving the anti-Brenna would be the greatest accomplishment my heart could achieve. I have the capacity for it, I know it. I am damaged, a victim. More importantly, I am a survivor. I want to reclaim that as a part of my life. I want to take care of myself. Most importantly: I can.

Shock Me Like an Electric Eel.

Dear Mel Mel, I will update my blog now as you asked.

I've been super busy, Mel, which is why I haven't really been blizogging.

I Assistant Stage Managed a musical that ended today. The composer came and watch it. Big Deal. Got sparkling cider from my secret show buddy, who also gave me a lightbulb. The social commissioners of the club that puts on the musical write a song about everyone in the cast on the last day. This year mine was: "There's a girl on the staff named Brenna, she spends her time backstage looking at dirty children's books [referring to the bastardized children's book I was given as a secret buddy gift last year that I brought with me this year as well], there's a girl on the cast named Brenna. Hey Brenna, we heard you spent last semester in DC, how was that? [making a joke because there was a person in the case named DC.]" They also mentioned me in another person's verse because she's the Stage Manager and she doesn't like to yell, so she goes to the other SM and aksed him but he doesn't like to yell because he's the group's cheerleader so she goes to me and I just "flat out say NO." I miss the show already, but I'm glad to have my life back. Plus, racism makes me uncomfortable.

Cast dinners happened. We went to a Greek place one night and the owner came around and pinched our cheeks, but did NOT say sorry for the lack of Tiropita.

Also, my friend Ace from (Wh)Orlando and I have become better friends this semester, so he's going to come to Tarpon with us sometime this summer.

Me and Joliver's annul coughiversary happened. Yay us! I feel like our dysfunction is what keeps us together. Love that boy.

Cat, Jordan, Larlee, and Allison sent me V-Day prezzies and a thank you card for setting Cat and Jordan up.

I'm taking 3 TV classes and love them all. I'm also taking a heiroglyphics class and a class of rhetoric.

I might be interning at Home Shopping Network this summer. Or WEDU. Or CBS.

My friend Kevin has decided not to hate me so far this semester. Yay.

I'm coming home for Spring Break 3/4-3/14. Cat is picking me up at the airport....aka, Cat is going to forget to pick me up and I will make Jon do it.

I'm going to be in "As You Like It" and a Filipino dance show later this semester. I'm also producing another show.

I've gotten involved with the "this is how not to die of alcohol poisoning" group on campus because one of the counselors there said with my personality it would help me cope with not being able to keep people like my mother and Jon from drinking. Basically I have control issues and I need to keep myself from becoming like Larlee with alchies (love you, girl, but you're a hot mess sometimes and we can only deal with one of those at a time).

I'm going to co-produce a TV show about student government soonish with Kevin.

I'm also doing the guest booking for one of the shows on NDtv: so far I've snagged a Taylor Swift cover band and the President and Vice President elects of the student body.

I'm working two jobs on campus right now: one as office jockey for the Television dept and the other is making videos for the study abroad dept's website. So time consuming but I love me some green.

I'm a big fan of my single room. Kevin lives in the dorm across the quad so I suggested that we get rooms next year that face each other so we can use Morse code flashlight signals to communicate instead of FB. He shot me down.

I feel like that's it, but I could be forgetting something. Really, I've been working on this musical since I got here so I'm going to have so much more free time to actually figure out what I'm doing with my life from here on out.

Dude, that's like a trillion books!

Winter Break 2009:

12/12- Moved Home

12/13- Miami

12/14-12/19- Cruise

12/19- Toys for Tots (for 20 minutes), Gingerbread manz bakeoff, sleep ovah at Catherine's

12/20- Cleaning/laundry/actually sleeping in my own bed

12/21- Dinner with Mel Mel and Joel, followed by seeing the whole SH crew at "Planet Power"

12/22- Busch Gardens with Leslie and her family, followed by a late night walk in the park

12/23- Taking the Canadians to the mall, followed by coffee with Matty Matt!

12/24- Coffee with Meagan D, followed by Christmas Eve Party and sleeping in my old room

12/25- Getting woken up early for no reason, presents, Eve's house, Stephanie's house

12/26-Dade City to visit Steevie, Chloe, and Alan and Zhills to see Brett, sushi with Jon, and hang out time with the Canadians

12/27-Shopping with Jon, Coffee with Matty Matt, and Dad's house again to see my aunt and more Canadians

12/28- Lunch with Gma and my aunt, Coffee with Alan

12/29-Kidnapped by Catherine, blindfolded, and taken to the Forum for Lightning practice, Jordan's place to not help Jordan clean, mall, NYE dress!, Jordan's other house, Wiregrass, JG show, T. Flats with the gang and JG

12/30-Actually hanging out at home for a little while, visited Andrew at KFC, picked up Jordan needlessly and Applebees with Cat/Laur/Matt/Jordan, karaoke

12/31-Moved Jon Oliver, Greek food with him and Jordan and Cat, my house with Cat, Jordan's, grocery store!, Jordan's family, some girl's house, saw the love of my life, stupid ska and punk bands, women's work, TGI Friday's, hang out time at my house, sleepovah!

12/1-Football at the Raley's, hair did, date night

12/2-Sweet tomatoes, mall, book store, BONFIRE!

12/3-Dad's house, gave Taylor her bday prezzie, played with the kids, home!

12/4- Went over to Catherine's for a hot second and had dinner

12/5-ihop, Dino world with Jon Oliver, nap at his place, USF vs ND bball, visited Meagan, sleep over with Jon

12/6-shopping with Eve!!!!! found out my uncle died =[[[[[

12/7-lunch/shopping/Oreo McFlurry with Catherine, sleepover with Jon

12/8- Sherlock Holmes with the alchies, Going Away B'grl Party with Cat, Alli, Lauren, Brett, and Jordan

12/9- Lunch with Jon, visited Clark and the kids, friendship bracelets/Xmas tree fire at the Raleys'

Best. break. ever.

Observation:

My mother never comes upstairs when she needs to talk to me. Either she thinks I'm still away at college and for some reason thinks my land line is my cell line OR she's a vampire and can't get in my room without being invited.

Either way, it's annoying. bleck.

Tragedy brings people together...like Christmas.

"Today is my last day."

"Fuck! That sucks."

For some reason I forgot to mention the awesomness that was the national christmas tree lighting. So fun. anyway...

Soooo....I survived finals week! I make it sound like a big effing ordeal, but I really only had to study for one and the other two were easy.

My last week in DC was extrmely busy because I was working all week, plus I had to pack and do exams and make sure I had everything together. I definitely didn't sleep enough and I got sick, which sucked. On my last day at CSPAN I cried walking out the door, then I get on the metro and read my emails, one of which is from ORLH telling me that I didn't get a single, then I had to go home and pack like a crazy person and load up the car when Jon got there. The next day we got up and drove home and as soon as we got here my mother decides to inform me that both my grandfather and my dog died and she had hidden it from me and told Bob and Jon not to tell me, which, let me tell ya, just made me feel so much better. So I was a hot mess and had to get my ass out of bed to pack for our cruise.

The cruise was ok for the most part, other than the fact that my mom and Jon were drinking the whole time and my mom was being an uberbitch and she was mad at both me and Jon and of course just took it all out on me. She was drunk the entire time, even dropping empty beer bottles out of my backpack (which smells like beer now, as you probably guessed) which was apparently too inebriated to know how to zip up. I just heard the glass break and thought to myself, "What has that alchie gotten us into now?!!" I can't spend 5 days straight alone with that woman on a confined boat. I wish Bob had come with us.

Over all the cruise itself was really fun. The show singers singlehandedly ruined any toleration I had for Nirvana and all of the love in my heart for Destiny's Child. However, I know what I'm buying for the menz on my Christmas list: velour dance pants, blue ones to be exact.

My fav part of the cruise was our overly excited cruise director. I mean, I know being excited about everything is his job, but this guy was on some sort of crack/alcohol diet the whole cruise. LOVED IT. I think I would be an excellent cruise director: I love to act like Im drunk, I love to yell, and I love to get up in people's faces.

When we were in Belize we went cave tubing. Unfortunately for us, they neglected to mention that we had to carry out gear two miles through the effing rain forest. Fail. I did love our guide thugh because he referred to our tubing trip as an adventure every three seconds, which I loved.

I have never seen as much Ed Hardy as I did during those 5 days. I kid you effing not, everyone had some. It was the classiest, white trashiest, adventure of all times.

Goals for break: bonfire, steal back my underwear from Lauren, punch someone in the face. All very attainable and not mutually exclusive.

I got to ride on a dolphin in Mexico, it was pretty much the best ever.

I think my favorite thing we did on the cruise was go to karaoke to watch people and the staff person running it was Italian and he sang an Elvis song and I almost died laughing. He talked like Borat. So good.

Yesterday we got off of the boat at 6:30am and I rushed home to make it back for Toys for Tots, and missed all but 20 minutes of it, but I still got a shirt for trying. Score.

After that we all went back to the Raley's and hung out and talked for a while and then we went to the 3 different grocery stores so Alli could make stuff for some party we werent invited to and Lauren hit me in the stomach with bread. Some things never change.

When we got home we made gingabread manz and Jordan told us to go to his place to decorate. And that we did. We picked up Mel Mel on the way and had an absolute blast. Pictures will be happening soon. We didn't do what we usually when decorating, making them look like our friends, because everyone has intricate tattoos that frosting just cant recreate.

Today was my first legit hang out at home day since I've come back.

Pet peeve: people using my toothbrush not only once, but twice a day for a week.

"Yall aren't married?" -newlywed couple we sat with at dinner to me and Jon

"One day....I'm going to break your jaw." -Jon

"thanks for bringing a little class to this operation." "she plays a good game."

"you'd be a sexy Muslim."

"youre sneaky, smart, and no one would suspectyou. You are the perfect spy" -Allison

"there is a lot of hateful ska"

"I feel like I just cemented the gayest road on earth."

"the headless horseman says: you're all fucked."

"I want to get a thundercats tattoo. I might regret it in a few years, but for now it would be cool."

"that wasn't a gun shot. That was someone walking around in flip flops." "those were pretty big flip flops."

"what's that new show? Launch my line?" "tht sounds very sexual."

"there is nothing scarier than a really ghetto white girl."

For goodness sakes, Brenna, stay on your own two feet!

Today, instead of studying for philo I...

- watched the rest of the 1st season of 30 Rock on Netflix

- watched not Underworld, but the PREQUEL to Underworld on Netflix

- tried to go to Zoolights but it was closed "due to the weather" (I never thought I'd say this but geez, since when is 2 inches of snow a lot?)

- put my Xmas music back on my phone

- packed up most of my room

- played Balderdash (and won!) for 2 and half hours

- wrote this blog

Who's excited for their yearly youtube video post on your facebook wall and/or christmas music mix cd Christmas prezzies?!!??!

It's the thought that counts and while I know this'll be the four year in a row that some of you are getting these CDs, it still carries over. I've made Jon at least 8 mix CDs and has he ever listened to a single one? Nope. So see, there's no point in mixing it up. I've got some good holiday themed youtube videos to share with yall though.

I'm saddened that I cannot watch "Love Actually" instantly on netflix. Fail on their part.

Since everyone at school is SOOOOOO busy with their tawdry lives of engineering and equally not important things, I was basically dying on the inside from not talking to them about a huge problem in my school life that could potentially ruin everything for me for forever. And I have to talk to someone at school about it because they know the people in the situation and when I asked Catherine, she just started singing that Rihanna song "Live Your Life" which was little to no help. Like, I was to the point of crying over it last night and my roommate Maggie came over and sat on my bed and listened to me complain about how everyone loves me and how that is a problem (because it is and yall would know if you let me talk to you about it =P ) for a good half an hour. So ACE and BECKY, engineer me a robot that gets me tissues or let me complain about my problems to you. Either would be nice. Seriously, it's an unexpected and quasi-intriguing story. Before I shoot myself in the face. <3

"It's easy to say 'I love you anyway' but I don't. 'I love you because.'"

"I Love You Because" = new fav musical. Pride and Prejudice set in NYC in modern day with the genders switched?!?!?!?!? Be still my heart!

The day a Miley Cyrus song could describe my life is the day I've hit rock bottom.

Today Zac Hahn apologized for making me cry 3 or 4 years ago. Better late than never I spose. He told me world AIDs day reminded him of me. Uhmm, kay.

So last week......

On Tuesday I worked, classed, did laundry, then caught the last metro to union station, then walked to CSPAN bc I was told not to hang out at US by myself from 12-3AM and I just hung out at CSPAN like the sketch monster I am, then I rode in the donut truck from my building to US because it was raining and there are homeless people. The donut man loves me because he is Hispanic and only Hispanic men love me. I will take it. Ricky Martin is Hispanic. He is also gay. Gay people also love me. Double loving! Then I got on the train which was such a fun adventure, I highly recommend it.

Wednesday I finally got to Boston and despite the fact that Tom was late getting me it was a good day. Brushed my teeth in a train station bathroom. Classy. Saw some graves. Also classy. Ate some seafood across from the aquarium. About as classy as it gets. Met Tom's family. Slightly awkward, but WAY better than the worst case scenario that I was prepared for (et's just say I had Enrique the donut guy on call to come pick me up in Boston). Caught up with Tom. We're super best friends now.

Thursday = Thxgibbing. Parade happened. Woke up earlier than Tom, making me a non-lazy guest. Gave his family a candle. Took a nap. Ate some food. DID NOT drive all over God's green earth like I usually do. Stayed up late with Tom again.

On Friday Tom and I went back into town and saw a play. It was a good time, other than the fact that it was like, 30 degrees outside. Got back on the train and back to DC.

On Saturday I went to Starbucks with Courtney and then we attempted to go ice skating but the rink was broken so we museumed it up and then went and got Burmese food with Nathalie and I came home and passed out...........

Sunday: stayed passed out.

Monday: back to work and glad for it! Turned in my journalism paper! 2/3 done

Today: Long and wonderful and productive. Yesssss.

"brenna, you look tired." "I have no makeup on." "oh, I guess I just associate you and no makeup with sleep?"

"Do you know what a puppy does when you pick it up by the back of the neck like this?"

"Punches you in the face?"

"Brenna, I thought you were already married."

"I'm so down to marry you." I guess that means me and Brett are getting married

"We're planning a play date for our faces."

"Why are you sketch monsters?"

"Because we basically make out with everything that moves."

"That's why you're pretty much soul mates."

Advice...Brett Snyder version:
"...I will make him eat a box of mothballs."
"...I'll break both of his knees."
"Most guys are douchebags. Just how it is."

.....the rocks aren't really as jagged down here as I thought they would be