She started drinking like she was drowning in the sea.

You know who I love pretty much more than life itself: Jonathan Gold. I feel like it's a rule that I have to love every person in my life named John.

Seriously though, that kid is just the tops. I will always remember our crazy New Years night where he was the entertainment at the FX party and the HB crew were somehow the special guests (I didn't see a cent for an appearance fee, PB) and Joel Flux MCd(???), followed by the sleep over where he filmed his goodbye on my video camera when he left before we all woke up. He's just one of those few precious and wonderful people you meet in your life. He just makes life that much more special. Remember Liz's Super Sweet Sixteen where he was once again  the entertainment...and we were the special guests? That seems to happen a lot, actually. Why are the HB girls such a highly sought after commodity? Honestly.

I have yet to see JG's album insert where he supposedly thanked me and Catherine. 

I hear Allison went out prospecting for future ex-husbands. Bravo, my dear, I'm glad to see you hopped right back on that train when he got off the plane from tour (I like to subtly remind you why he's such a great catch, if you hadn't noticed). And yes, I hear about everything you do in your life, so don't eff this up if you want to live to see your 2(?)th bday, ma'am. Have you ever seen "The Godfather"? If so, you can think of me and your sisters as the Godfather; we have no problem with killing you if it comes to that. After all, if we invite him to your funeral, I'm not above scantily cladding Catherine to pick up where you failed. Picking an apt 3 minutes from his house is a good first, and slightly stalkerish, step though.

JO is coming to Indiana with Eve to collect me next week. I wish they had a video camera in that car, it would be 18 hours of pure comedic joy.